Setting Boundaries: The New Sexy

Once upon a time, I thought “boundaries” were just something you set with your nosy neighbor or your dog that keeps eating socks. Turns out, boundaries are actually the backbone of healthy relationships—and the kryptonite of toxic ones.

Boundaries Aren’t Walls, They’re Doors

Here’s the deal: boundaries don’t mean you’re cold, mean, or “too much.” Boundaries mean you know your worth and you protect it. They’re not about shutting people out—they’re about choosing who gets to come in, and under what conditions.

Think of it like hosting a dinner party. You don’t let someone waltz into your house, kick off their shoes, and eat straight out of the serving dish with their bare hands. Why? Because you have standards. Boundaries are just emotional standards.

Why Narcissists Hate Them

If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist, you already know: they despise boundaries. Boundaries mean you’re not open for endless emotional looting. Boundaries mean they can’t drain your energy like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet. And when you finally put one up? Oh, the tantrums. The manipulation. The “you’ve changed.”

Yes, I’ve changed. I now prefer self-respect over chaos. Imagine that.

The Unsexy Truth: Boundaries Take Practice

Setting boundaries feels awkward at first—like wearing new shoes. You’ll want to take them off and go barefoot just to keep the peace. But every time you stand firm, the shoes fit a little better. Eventually, they feel like the only pair you ever want to wear.

My New Mantra

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• “No” is a full sentence.

• Guilt is not a reason to say “yes.”

• If someone leaves because you enforce a boundary, they were only invested in your compliance, not your connection.

So now, instead of twisting myself into a pretzel for approval, I draw the line and hold it. And you know what? The right people don’t just respect your boundaries—they admire them.

Because nothing’s hotter than someone who knows their limits and enforces them.