Are You Addicted to a Toxic Partner?
There’s a kind of love that doesn’t feel like love at all — it feels like withdrawal. One moment you’re euphoric, certain you’ve found your person. The next, you’re anxious, spiraling, and desperate to get back to that fleeting high. You tell yourself it’s passion. Chemistry. Fate. But really, it’s your nervous system trapped in survival mode — chasing connection with someone who keeps pulling it away.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not crazy. You’re caught in the cycle so many survivors know too well: a pattern that mimics addiction. It’s not weakness. It’s wiring. And recognizing that truth is the first step toward breaking free.
There’s Push-and-Pull (AKA Relationship Whiplash)
If you’ve ever been caught in the toxic push-and-pull of a relationship, you know the drill. One minute you’re “the love of their life,” the next you’re wondering if you imagined the whole thing. It’s like being on the worst carnival ride ever—fast, dizzying, and run by someone who definitely shouldn’t be in charge of heavy machinery.
The Highs Are Fake, But the Hangovers Are Real
The “pull” is intoxicating. You’re showered with affection, promises, late-night confessions about how you’re the one. Your brain goes, Finally, they see me.
And then—slam—the “push” hits. Cold shoulders. Silence. Criticism so sharp it feels like paper cuts all over your skin. Suddenly you’re scrambling, replaying every word, trying to figure out what you did to cause the free fall. Spoiler: you didn’t.
The Hook that Has You Staying… Every Time
Here’s the thing—our brains are wired to chase the pull. Intermittent reinforcement (thanks, psych 101) is the same trick casinos use. You never know when you’ll win, so you keep pulling the lever. And in this case, the “jackpot” is someone treating you like a decent human for five minutes.
It’s not love. It’s addiction dressed up in couple’s selfies.
The Truth: Stability Feels Boring… Until It Doesn’t
After enough cycles of push and pull, actual stability feels strange. Kindness feels suspicious. You wonder, Where’s the drama? But here’s the plot twist: healthy love is steady. It doesn’t spike your cortisol. It doesn’t leave you staring at your phone like you’re defusing a bomb.
Breaking Free (Without Whiplash)
Admit it’s a rigged game. You can’t win when the rules keep changing.
Stop confusing adrenaline with intimacy.
Remind yourself—every time you feel that pull—that peace is not “boring.” It’s freedom. Because the only thing worse than being pushed away is forgetting you were always enough to stand on your own.
