Boundaries: The Fence That Keeps the Crazy Out
Here’s the truth: if you’ve ever been with a narcissist (or any emotional vampire), the word boundary probably felt like a suggestion, not a requirement. You bent. You explained. You justified. You gave second, third, and fifteenth chances. And they still acted like you were asking too much by wanting the bare minimum.
Boundaries aren’t walls to keep people out. They’re fences with gates—you decide who comes in, how long they stay, and whether they get snacks. Without them? You’re basically running an open-field festival where chaos shows up uninvited, drinks all your wine, and sets your sofa on fire.
What Boundaries Are (and Aren’t)
Boundaries are clarity. “I don’t answer work calls after 7.” “I’m not available to be screamed at.” “No, you cannot borrow money again.”
Boundaries aren’t cruelty. Saying no doesn’t make you cold. It makes you sane.
Boundaries are choices. You get to decide what you accept, what you refuse, and how you respond when someone tests you.
Boundaries aren’t negotiations. If someone treats them like optional fine print, that’s your answer.
Why They Hate Your Boundaries
Toxic people thrive on blurred lines. The second you draw one in permanent marker, they panic. Suddenly, you’re “selfish” or “mean” or “not the person they fell in love with.” Translation: you stopped being their doormat. Congrats.
Practice Makes Power
The first time you set a boundary, it feels like choking out the words “I don’t want dessert” at an Italian restaurant. Awkward. Guilt-inducing. Wrong. But the more you do it, the stronger you feel. Before you know it, you’re saying, “That doesn’t work for me” with the confidence of someone who just got a blowout and a raise on the same day.
The Payoff
Boundaries don’t just protect you from them—they protect you from the old you. The one who accepted scraps, ignored red flags, and thought over-functioning was love.
The new you? She has gates, fences, and maybe even a moat. And honestly—she sleeps way better at night.
