Surviving the Workday While Surviving a Bad Breakup
Breakups are hard. Breakups with narcissists? Brutal. Because you’re not just grieving the relationship—you’re detoxing from the chaos, gaslighting, and emotional hangover they left behind. And while you’re falling apart inside, the world expects you to show up at work like nothing happened.
How do you answer emails when your heart is in shards? How do you sit in meetings when your brain is running reruns of every cruel word? How do you keep from crying in the bathroom between Zoom calls?
You manage. Not perfectly, not without cracks—but enough to keep moving forward. Here’s how.
1. Lower the Bar (For Now)
This is not the week to become Employee of the Year. You’re in survival mode, and that’s okay. Give yourself permission to do “good enough.” Finish the tasks that truly matter. Let the rest wait. Burnout won’t heal heartbreak.
Pro tip: Make a short, ruthless to-do list every morning. Three things max. If you get through them, you’ve done enough.
2. Create Tiny Safe Zones at Work
You’re carrying a war in your chest—so carve out small sanctuaries.
Step outside between meetings.
Put on calming music with headphones.
Keep water nearby (hydration helps when stress hijacks your body).
If you can, block off 15 minutes on your calendar labeled “Focus Work” but really use it to breathe.
These aren’t indulgences. They’re lifelines.
3. Control the Narrative (Lightly)
Coworkers may notice you’re quieter or less sparkly. You don’t owe anyone the messy details. A simple, “I’m going through a tough personal situation, but I’m managing” sets a boundary without oversharing. The right people will respect it.
4. Use Work as a Refuge—But Not an Escape Hatch
Work can distract you from the heartbreak. That’s useful—but don’t let it become a full-blown escape that delays your healing. Lean into projects that keep your hands busy and your mind less obsessive, but check in with yourself. If you’re numbing out, step back.
5. Expect Waves
Some days you’ll feel almost normal. Other days you’ll barely hold it together. Both are fine. Healing doesn’t follow office hours. When the grief hits mid-meeting, remind yourself: you’re human. Excuse yourself if needed. Breathe. Then keep going.
6. Remember: This Isn’t Permanent
Right now, every workday feels impossible. But you won’t always be this raw. Over time, the fog lifts. You’ll think clearer, laugh louder, and realize you’re not just functioning at work—you’re thriving again.
The Truth
Managing work during a breakup with a narcissist isn’t about crushing deadlines or proving you’re “fine.” It’s about staying afloat when the undertow is strongest. Some days survival is the win.
So show up as best you can. Protect your energy. Let the small cracks show if they need to. Because you’re not weak—you’re healing. And that is work worth doing.
