The Closure You’ll Never Get (and How to Move On Anyway)
When most relationships end, closure comes from a conversation, an apology, or at least a shared understanding of why things fell apart. With a narcissist? Forget it.
Closure is the thing you crave most—and the one thing they’ll never give you.
Why Closure Hurts So Much Here
Narcissistic abuse isn’t just a breakup. It’s emotional whiplash. You’re left sorting through:
Mixed signals (love one day, rejection the next).
Lies and gaslighting that rewrote your reality.
The absence of any real accountability.
Your brain clings to the idea that if you could just get answers, you’d feel peace. But narcissists thrive on withholding exactly what you need.
Their Playbook: No Closure, Only Confusion
Narcissists don’t end things cleanly. They:
Disappear without explanation.
Blame you so you’re left questioning everything.
Hoover back in with charm just when you start to move on.
It’s not closure. It’s keeping you hooked.
The Trap of “If Only”
“If only they’d apologize.”
“If only they’d explain.”
“If only I could understand.”
Here’s the hard truth: even if they gave you those things, it wouldn’t satisfy you. Because their words are never about truth—they’re about control.
Where Closure Really Comes From
Closure isn’t something they hand you. It’s something you create.
Name the truth. Call it what it was: abuse. Manipulation. Lies.
Own your story. You don’t need their version to validate your reality.
Apologize to yourself. Not for being weak, but for surviving the best you could—and promising to protect yourself now.
Choose finality. Block, delete, cut ties. Not to punish them, but to free yourself.
The Truth
Closure after narcissistic abuse is so hard because you’re waiting for it from the one person least capable of giving it. But here’s the shift: closure is not in their hands—it’s in yours.
And when you stop waiting for them to end the story, you begin writing your own.
