Why Narcissists Never Really Apologize
Here’s the painful truth: narcissists don’t apologize because in their world, they’re never wrong. To apologize would mean admitting fault, and fault cracks the perfect mask they’ve built. And a narcissist would rather lose you than lose their image.
Apologies Require Empathy — They Run on Ego
A real apology takes empathy: the ability to step into your shoes and feel the pain they caused. But narcissists don’t live in empathy—they live in ego. Their fuel is admiration, control, and being right. If your pain threatens that supply, they’ll dismiss it, twist it, or deny it—anything but own it.
Their Version of an “Apology”
Instead of genuine repair, you’ll see patterns like:
Minimizing: “It wasn’t that bad.”
Reversing: Suddenly you’re the one apologizing to them.
Distraction: They pivot to something you did wrong two years ago.
Temporary Performances: A “sorry” followed by a honeymoon phase, until the cycle starts again.
Notice the theme? None of it’s about you. It’s about preserving their control.
Why You Keep Waiting for One
You’re human. You want closure. You want acknowledgment that what you went through was real. And you deserve that. But from a narcissist, the apology you crave will never come—not because you don’t deserve it, but because they’re incapable of giving it.
What to Do Instead
Stop waiting for them to hand you healing. They won’t. The real apology you need is the one you give yourself:
“I’m sorry I abandoned myself to keep the peace.”
“I forgive myself for staying longer than I should have.”
“I promise myself I will not go back.”
That’s the apology that heals, because it comes from the only person who can actually protect you now: you.
The Truth
A narcissist never actually apologizes because doing so would dismantle the fantasy world they live in. But your healing doesn’t depend on their words. Your healing depends on reclaiming your own voice, your own validation, your own closure.
Their silence—or their fake “sorry”—is not the end of your story. It’s the beginning of you writing a better one.
